After 19 years of marriage, I can confidently say that it’s not the big, grand gestures that keep a relationship strong—it’s the little things. Sure, romantic getaways and fancy gifts are nice, but they’re not what hold two people together through the hardest seasons of life. It’s the way you show up for each other in the everyday moments that truly matter.

Lay and I have been through it all—sickness, financial struggles, losses that felt unbearable. But through every storm, what kept us steady weren’t the once-in-a-blue-moon surprises or social media-worthy moments. It was the small, consistent acts of love—the way he prepares the things I need in the morning, the little snack surprises he buys for me, the quiet moments when no words are needed, but just being there means everything.

Strong relationships don’t flourish on autopilot—they require effort. Love isn’t about grand gestures once in a while; it’s about choosing the same person, day after day, in the small, ordinary moments. I won’t pretend our relationship is perfect, but we show up for each other, and that matters. And just to be clear, I’m not here to preach—just sharing what we’ve learned along the way.

So, let’s talk about the little things that truly matter—because real love is found in the everyday.

Active Listening and Genuine Conversations

Life gets busy, and honestly, Lay and I don’t have deep, heart-to-heart conversations every single day. Some nights, we’re too tired to do more than exchange a few words before crashing into bed. And that’s okay. What matters is that when we do talk—really talk—we’re fully present. No distractions, no half-listening while scrolling through our phones. Just two people giving each other their full attention.

Expressing Appreciation and Gratitude

No one likes feeling like their efforts go unnoticed, even when they’re small. A quick “Thanks for cooking,” or “I appreciate you handling that” can turn a routine task into a reminder that we don’t take each other for granted.

Our kids have picked up on this, too. They’ve always been vocal about their gratitude—even for the little things. A gift, a snack prepared, a ride to school, or a simple favor? They’ll always say, “Thanks, Ma” or “Thanks, Pa,” without being reminded. It’s one of those little things that warms my heart because it means they’ve grown up knowing appreciation should be expressed, not just felt.

Small Acts of Affection

We’re not the overly clingy type, but we make sure to stay physically connected. Whether it’s holding hands while watching TV or resting my head on his shoulder in comfortable silence, these small gestures speak louder than words. They remind us that no matter how busy or tired we are, love isn’t just something we say—it’s something we show.

My husband always gives me three little pecks on the lips before bed and heading to work—even if I’m sound asleep and snoring. It’s a small gesture, but to me, it’s both nostalgic and deeply loving. It’s the same thing he did on our wedding day, and all these years later, he still does it, as if silently saying, I love you, no matter what.

Supporting Each Other in Daily Life

One of the ways we support each other is by being each other’s sounding board. I always listen when he talks about work, giving him advice when needed, and he does the same for me. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, he’s the first to remind me to slow down, take a breather, and not be too hard on myself. It’s his way of making sure I don’t burn out, and honestly, sometimes, I need that gentle push to step back and relax.

Inside Jokes and Shared Laughter

Not many people know this, but Lay can be an absolute clown sometimes. At home, he’s nothing like the serious, responsible guy most people see—he’s the guy who cracks a joke the moment he walks through the door or randomly breaks into a ridiculous dance. Sometimes, it’s irritating (especially when I’m not in the mood), but most of the time, it’s insanely funny.

We laugh our hearts out over the silliest things, and honestly, those moments are cathartic. No matter how stressful the day has been, a single joke, a goofy face, or one of his terrible dance moves is enough to shake off the tension. There have been countless times when I wished I could secretly record one of his antics and show the world—but I also know that would be the end of our marriage. Lol.

Deep down, I know he loves hearing me laugh because he understands the weight I carry inside. That’s why I truly appreciate those moments when he makes a fool of himself—just to see me smile. 🤣🤣

Giving Each Other Space

Marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. After 19 years together, we’ve had our fair share of disagreements, bad moods, and moments when everything feels a little too much. But one thing we’ve learned? Knowing when to step back is just as important as knowing when to show up.

We don’t force conversations when one of us isn’t ready to talk. We don’t push each other to engage when we need time to cool off. Instead, we give each other the space to breathe, process, and come back when we’re in a better headspace. It’s not about shutting each other out—it’s about preventing small frustrations from turning into something bigger.

Giving space also means letting each other enjoy the things we love without guilt. I never stop him from watching a Franco or Parokya ni Edgar concert at 70’s Bistro or hanging out with his high school barkada. Those moments are his, and he deserves them. Just like he never questions my need for alone time or the things that make me happy.

Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry

I’ve always been inspired by the movie Love Story—that iconic line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry,” stuck with me through the years. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in marriage, it’s that love isn’t about skipping apologies altogether—it’s about understanding that not everyone expresses regret with words.

Some people aren’t wired to say I’m sorry easily, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel it. My husband and I have had our share of disagreements, and while I’m the type who prefers talking things out, he’s the kind who expresses remorse in actions rather than words. Instead of verbal apologies, he’ll bring home a little treat, or silently fix what went wrong. And honestly? That speaks just as loudly as a spoken sorry.

Final Thoughts

Every relationship is different, but one thing remains the same: love is a choice you make daily. So, pay attention to the small moments, appreciate the quiet gestures, and never take for granted the person who walks through life with you. Because in the end, it’s the little things that make love last.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, now’s a good time to reflect on the small ways we show love. What’s a thoughtful thing you’ve done for your partner lately? Sometimes, the simplest gestures mean the most. 💙