Today marks the first day of the love month, but before we get caught up in all the heart-shaped everything, let’s talk about the kind of love that often gets overlooked—self-love.

It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? It’s not about pricey spa days, shopping sprees, or curating the perfect aesthetic. Sure, those things are nice, but goes beyond the surface. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and respect you’d offer a close friend—especially on the days when you feel like you don’t deserve it.

So, this month, instead of just celebrating love in the usual ways, let’s turn some of that energy inward. Because the relationship you have with yourself? That one matters, too.

Prioritizing Personal Well-Being

Prioritizing your well-being is about making small, intentional choices that support your health—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Listen to Your Body

Your body is always sending signals, but are you paying attention? That mid-afternoon slump? Maybe it’s not just about caffeine—you could be dehydrated or running on too little sleep. That persistent headache? It might be stress knocking on your door. Simple habits like staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, and moving your body (even if it’s just a quick stretch) can make a huge difference in how you feel.

Set Boundaries Without Guilt

It’s okay to say no. Really, it is. You don’t have to attend every event, reply to every message immediately, or always be available for everyone else. Protecting your time and energy isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Whether it’s muting notifications after work or carving out quiet time just for yourself, setting boundaries helps you recharge without guilt.

Do Things That Bring You Joy

When was the last time you did something just because it made you happy? Not because it was productive, not because someone needed it—just for you. Maybe it’s reading a book, baking something sweet, binge-watching on Netflix, or listening to music while doing nothing. Taking time for joy, no matter how small, keeps life from feeling like a never-ending list of responsibilities.

So, take a breath. Take a break. Take care of you. It’s not just okay—it’s necessary.

Speaking Kindly to Yourself

Most of us are way harsher on ourselves than we’d ever be to someone else. If a friend messed up at work or forgot something important, would you tell them they’re a failure? Of course not. But how often do you say things like that to yourself?

Negative self-talk is sneaky. It sounds like, “I’m so bad at this,” or “Why can’t I ever get things right?” Over time, those little jabs pile up, and before you know it, they start feeling like facts instead of just passing thoughts. But here’s the good news—you don’t have to keep being your own worst critic. You can flip the script.

Catch the Criticism Before It Sticks

The next time you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself, pause. Would you say that to someone you love? If the answer is no, change the narrative. Instead of “I’ll never get this right,” try, “This is tough, but I’m figuring it out.” It’s a small shift, but it makes a world of difference.

Give Yourself the Grace You Give Others

You’re human. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll have off days. You’ll forget things, mess things up, and say the wrong thing sometimes. And that’s okay. Instead of beating yourself up, treat yourself with the same patience and understanding you’d offer a friend. You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of kindness—especially from yourself.

Celebrate Progress, Not Just Perfection

Think about everything you’ve pushed through—the challenges, the setbacks, the moments that felt impossible. You made it through each one, and that’s worth acknowledging. You don’t need a massive victory to deserve kindness. Even getting through a tough day is an achievement.

Whenever I feel down, I remind myself of that day 12 years ago when I nearly lost my life to a brain bleed. I was hanging by a thread, yet here I am. That memory puts things into perspective—if I survived that, I can handle whatever today throws at me.

Your Words Matter—Make Them Count

Start replacing self-criticism with words that lift you up. Even if it feels unnatural at first, keep going. “I’m learning.” “I’m doing my best.” “I am enough.” These aren’t just feel-good phrases—they’re reminders of the truth.

So, talk to yourself like someone worth rooting for. Because you are.

Investing in Growth and Learning

Loving yourself also means believing in your own potential. Growth isn’t about reaching some perfect version of yourself—it’s about staying curious, open, and willing to learn. Whether it’s picking up a new skill, diving into a good book, or simply allowing yourself to evolve, every step forward is an act of self-love.

Learn Something That Excites You

You don’t need to take up a course just because it looks good on a resume or because someone else thinks it’s useful. What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn just because? Maybe it’s painting, baking the perfect cheesecake, or understanding the ins and outs of a foreign language. Learning should feel like an adventure, not another chore on your list.

Make Time for Reading (or Listening)

Books, podcasts, and documentaries are like little windows to different perspectives and experiences. Even 10 minutes a day can spark new ideas, shift your mindset, or simply give you something interesting to think about. If you don’t have the patience for reading, audiobooks and podcasts are great alternatives—perfect for when you’re doing chores, commuting, or taking a break.

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Growth happens when you challenge yourself. It doesn’t have to be something huge—maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying a new hobby, or even just choosing to be more open-minded about something you’ve always dismissed. The goal isn’t to be fearless; it’s to be brave enough to try.

You’re a Work in Progress, and That’s Okay

You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. What matters is that you keep moving, even if it’s just one small step at a time. Investing in yourself—whether through knowledge, skills, or self-reflection—is one of the best ways to practice self-love.

So go ahead, take that class, pick up that book, or try something new. You never know what doors it might open.

Practicing Gratitude and Reflection

It’s easy to get caught up in what’s missing—the things we haven’t achieved, the mistakes we’ve made, the areas where we still fall short. But self-love isn’t just about growth; it’s also about pausing and appreciating what’s already here. Gratitude and reflection help shift the focus from what’s lacking to what’s already good. And sometimes, that change in perspective is all you need to feel lighter.

The other day, while having breakfast, Lay and I were chatting about life. At some point, I looked at him and said, “You know what? I’m genuinely okay with where we are now.” I’ve come to accept that we might never be crazy rich in this lifetime, and that’s perfectly fine. As long as our life is comfortable and we have everything we need, that’s more than enough.

Find the Little Things Worth Appreciating

Gratitude doesn’t have to be about grand gestures or life-changing events. It can be as simple as a quiet morning with your coffee, a message from an old friend, or the way the sunset painted the sky just right. The more you notice the little things, the more you realize there’s always something to be grateful for—even on the tough days.

Make It a Daily Habit

Gratitude can be as simple as taking a moment before bed to think of three good things from your day. Or maybe you’d rather weave it into your routine—saying “thank you” more often, acknowledging the people who make life a little brighter, or simply reminding yourself of the progress you’ve made.

Look Back to Move Forward

Think about where you were five years ago. How much have you grown? What challenges have you overcome? What would your past self be proud of today? Sometimes, we’re so focused on the next goal that we forget to appreciate how far we’ve already come.

Let Go of the “Should Haves”

Regret can be a heavy thing to carry. But the truth is, you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Instead of replaying the “should haves” and “what ifs,” try shifting the focus: What did I learn? How has this experience shaped me? Forgiving yourself is just as important as appreciating your wins.

Final Thoughts

Loving yourself isn’t about waiting for the perfect moment or reaching some imaginary milestone—it’s about choosing, every day, to treat yourself with the kindness and care you deserve. Small, consistent acts of self-love add up, shaping the way you see yourself and the world around you.